Trip

 

(Track from 15:25 to 25:25. Headphones. Volume up.)

Start I step out onto the pavement and turn right.

I check out the kind of day and the kind of me in it.

How I will feel in it. How I do feel in it.

Straight away I know it is this kind of day and I am that kind of me and I’m ready for it.

There are cars and trees. I feel better than OK. I can open.

It’s almost cold. It’s sunny. I can feel the energy from the street, from the people. The people are full of energy today. I am falling into sync with it. With them. Walking. Looking straight ahead. Walking into straight ahead.

I’m moving forward. Moving forward into this space.

There is me and there’s air.

I see a man. He’s walking too. There’s a siren. And a dog. Moving forward through this day. Me too. Pushing through. Striding into next. With the dog and the man and feeling better than OK.

And seeing without looking. The rhythm of the day in my walk and in the sounds on the street and in the people.

It’s sunny. I’m cold. The energy is there on this street, coming from the people. Coming from the cars. They are falling into sync with me. I’m walking. Looking straight ahead. Walking into straight ahead. I’m being moved forward. Forward into this space.

There is air and there’s me and we join.

Breathing the man and his walk and no siren. Watching a girl and her phone. Watching her watch the pavement in the sun. Watching her move through this day.

Feeling it. Breathing it. Not waiting. Meeting. Could almost close my eyes looking out. Feeling out.

The air and I.

1:44 Wait wait there’s a shift. Am I shifting to inside. Turning in on my purpose. I could turn in now. I do do that. I turn. Away from the sun and the cars and trees. Into fiction. Inwards.

Whirring, whirring.

2:02 No, I decide, no. I brace. Embrace. I yield. Back here. Fully in this street. Now. Alive.

Moving forward.

Feeling the pavement. Hearing the sun.

2:35 Yes, and noticing the trees, hearing them ask me to notice them.

Honouring the asking trees.

Eye-kissing the sky.

2:52 And the birds. Feeling them, feeling now. Kissing the pavement.

Loving the birds.

Loving.

3:08 And gathering in this sun and feeling open. Opening. Smiling.

Opening the warmth on my face.

Smiling.

3:25 And there you are. You are. I see you there in the distance.

But I see no distance.

3:41 You are walking towards me. Walking forwards, towards.

Walking my air.

3:58 You call over. From over there. I feel deaf. You are all I hear. I meet you from this space.

Time streeeeeetches.

Dissoooooolves.

4:31 And you’re here. You arrive. We are parallel. We walk.

We walk in parallel.

4:47 We walk forward. Side by side. The trees and the birds and the energy.

You talk. You say loads.

You keep saying it.

You say nothing.

5:04 In amongst it, you say something.

You say something.

5:21 It’s a trip. I trip on what you said. What did you say. It was nothing. Was it something. I am walking and tripping.

I’m tripped up.

I’m suspended.

5.38: Because I’m smiling and talking. But I’m looking to the making of meaning.

To make an OK meaning of the nothing that you said that might have been something.

How it can be made OK.

Why it didn’t seem OK.

Working on it being OK.

5:55 Getting there.

Arriving. Arriving.

Striving.

6:11 Finally, I make the meaning fine. I bring in perspective. I bring you into perspective. I reject perspective. I stop tripping. I walk.

I’m back.

6:45 It’s OK and it’s OK because here is now and that’s all the fine meaning.

And it’s getting better and better.

I can feel the birds now. The trees are part of me. This road, this street is a part of me. The buildings are building into a part of me. I am building up to it. I’m inside it.

It’s all that matters.

I am saturated.

I am bliss.

I am air.

I am bliss.

7:01 And it could matter forever.

7:35 This could last forever. This is forever. Walking down here in this moment. In this life. In parallel. In this parallel life.

In this paved street with trees.

In this paved bliss with breathing trees.

7:51 And if you feel the whole of me, of all around us. If this energy, this pitch is part of you. If it is your total now. The vibration.

That the vibration could be no other than it is.

That it is.

That it does.

8:43 And we arrive. We are here. I am full. I am full of the trees and my blood.

No man. No dog.

But our blood.

9:05 And your blood begins withdrawal. It gathers in. You hear it gather in silence.

You hear now that darkness of goodbye. That deafness. That deathness.

But that is not the end of completion.

It is depth.

It is context.

It is resonance.

And there will be renewal.

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