I mean, really

Bruno came home yesterday from school with this as his reading homework: ‘Captain Underpants and the Big Bad Battle of the Bionic Booger Boy’.

I mean, really. I mean, really, I mean, really.

For those visiting hordes of strangers, Bruno is 6 years old and trying to learn how to pronounce things like ‘and’ and ‘but’ without making them sound weird.

Now it seems the National Curriculum thinks it’s a super idea to send him home with cartoon fart books.

I came over all Mary Whitehouse (any excuse), pursed my lips and scribbled an indecipherable note to his teacher:

‘Miss Wotsit, hello, it’s Bruno’s Mum. Please could Bruno bring home a traditional reading book? He has fun with these things in the holidays but they are full of made-up words and cartoons etc. Thank you.’

Today he brought back a replacement book with a rubbish illustration on the front about some adorable child whose only wish in the whole wide world is to have a puppy as a pet.

So now I have a different set of problems- similar to the ones I had when he brought back the birthday surprise kitten story or the school guinea pig spending its Summer holiday with the luckiest boy in the class.*

Anyway, I was no longer ‘Appalled from Acton’ until I heard him on the phone to a grandparent, explaining the reason he prefers English to Maths:

‘It’s a bit more easier and you know the understanding of it.’

Tomorrow I start street-walking to get him a private education.

*Bru lives in a pet desert

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1 Comment

Filed under London Mumbo, Mini mumbo, Mumbo Life, Uncategorized

One response to “I mean, really

  1. adele

    This sort of reading material for the young and impressionable is nothing short of scandalous! It’s guilty in the first instance, of putting vulgarity at the forefront of children’s minds and in the second, of worrying parents silly regarding empathy toward animals which is deplorable. In my day it was nothing that Captain Pugwash, Seaman Stains and Master Bates couldn’t sort out on TV and of course the fab cruelty suffered by Tom at the hands of Jerry, thanks to ‘good old Fred Quimby!’. Ah, them days was quality an it aint holed me bakc….
    xxxxxxx

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