I have three holes in my earlobes, two of which I decorate most days.
And a very limited selection of everyday earrings with which to do this.
Here they are:
Even though they are essentially indistinguishable, I have noticed that I am particular about which ones I honour for self-adornment.
One pair I wear when I’m feeling a bit urban or a bit money.
Another pair I wear when I’m feeling ever so slightly flamboyant.
One pair I wear when I’d like to be feeling a bit cool.
One pair I wear when I’m feeling a bit suburban and proper.
One pair are for when I’m feeling a bit indie though- let’s be clear- they’re not the same ones I wear when I’m feeling a bit Lewes: I would never confuse these pairs!
One pair I wear when I’m feeling fairly neutral but can still be bothered to don jewellery: I don’t think I’ll be judged on the strength of them, in the way I would if I were wearing the others.
Then there’s a second neutral pair but these are a bit more upbeat, more directional.
If I wore the Lewes pair to Shoreditch or the indie pair to Knightsbridge, a small part of me would feel really quite annoyed all day.
(Though I’d never want to bring any of this up at a psychiatric assessment.)
What I take this unremarkable little dance to suggest is that self-esteem relies more on perception than it does on reality.
In other words, it’s more relevant for me to believe that you’re approving of my urban earrings than for you to be approving of my urban earrings.
If Cognitive Behaviour Therapy unravels negative thought patterns by holding them up to a more positive reality, then couldn’t a fantastical personal reality build mega-fab thought patterns?
Meanwhile, for those struggling, Delusion Therapy would involve the creation of entirely bogus stories around one’s problems, in order to nuke anxiety.
While Neuro Linguistic Programming interests itself in the universal thought processes of successful people, this approach would focus on the idiosyncracies of individuals and the concoction of success fantasies around them.
In actual fact, on a small scale, it is what man does intuitively.
The most ingenious of all natural creative processes, every soul on this planet is doing it right now, in one way or another.
It’s called survival: the creation of a million self-motivating narratives.
So, imagine if we did just a little bit more of it, in as many ways as we could think of, as often as we could.
Then, before we knew it, we would be thriving all over the place, even if only in our own heads.
Today, I will wear upbeat and directional.
I will be the only one who knows this and it will make me smile.
Make sure you’re smiling for a bonkers reason too.