Twin 1: I fancy Justin Timberlake.
Twin 2: I don’t.
Twin 1: I like his sexy in-your-face dancing.
Twin 2: I think he looks like his bones are made from rubber bands.
Twin 1: I think he’d be hot.
Twin 2: I think he’s one wrong turn away from being beaten up.
Twin 1: He’s in touch with his feminine side.
Twin 2: He’s a girl in an over-grown adolescent boy’s body, who still goes to bed in his Mickey Mouse Club pyjamas.
Twin 1: You don’t want to sleep with him then?
Twin 2: No, thank you.
Twin 1: Oh. I’m disappointed.
Do you think you could…
Twin 2: …pretend to be asleep?
No, I could not.
Twin 1: Who do you fancy then?
Twin 2: Dominic West.
Twin 1: Who’s he?
Twin 2: You know, McNulty, from The Wire.
Twin 1: Oh, yes, yes! I fancy him too! I’d be awake for that!
Twin 2: Great. We’ll have our hair done first.
Twin 1: Don’t finish my sentences. It’s annoying.
Twin 2: Fine. Don’t talk about turtles.
Twin 1: Where shall we find him?
Twin 2: Hammersmith Grove. He cycles along there a lot. We’ll stake it out.