Depressed Legwarmers

Dress: Have you kids been long in this wardrobe?

Legwarmers: Are you trying to be funny? One of us has got piles. We miss Bergerac.

Dress: You were swinging during disco.

Legwarmers: Cool. Were you a part of all that?

Dress: No, darlings. I’m in my 60’s.

Legwarmers: You’re looking good.

Dress: I’m a vintage piece.

Legwarmers: We’re old too.

Dress: You’re not labeled though, Honies. I don’t get out much but it’s always for a good time, if you know what I mean.

Legwarmers: Evenings?

Dress: Oh, yes. Taxis, champagne… compliments.

Legwamers: What, dry cleaning?

Dress: Please. Can you see me jumping into that claustrophobic little drum? Oh sorry, do you drip/dry?

Legwarmers: Don’t have to wake up in the morning. To be honest, we’ve started fantasizing about charity shops.

Dress: Never say the ‘c’ word. You’re being saved for a revival. Bide your time.

Legwarmers: No, we’re nostalgia, nothing more. You’re lucky. There’s lots of us in here. The snood hung himself with the piano tie last week.

Dress: Ooh, nasty. You never know. You might be passed down or…

Legwarmers: Fancy dress? Crafty cushion? Yeah, we see where this is going. We’d rather unravel completely. But thanks for the chat. Going to put our heads together with the sun-visor tonight and see what we can come up with.

Dress: You do that. Don’t despair now, Sweeties. There’s always acupuncture.


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