Questions that would bring an adult sensibility to the Mr. Men books and ruin the reader’s innocent enjoyment of them: Part 1

1. In Mr. Chatterbox, Mr. Bowler has magical powers that enable him to fashion a hat which grows/decreases in size in proportion to the wearer’s propensity to talk.

Isn’t it a waste that he is still in the hat business?

2. At the beginning of his story, Mr. Greedy is fat but content and wakes up with a grin on his face from dreaming about food.

After he has been cruelly forced to slim down he looks wrong- like a buff Alexander McQueen, with a strained smile.

Is thinner always better?

3. Seeing as the Mr. Men are special and expend all their energy towards a particular character trait, do they have a limited life expectancy and, if so, does it depend on the trait?

For example, things could look good for Mr. Cheerful and more uncertain for Mr. Messy, whose body is a scribble.

4. Before Mr. Bump realizes his ideal job is as an apple picker at Mr. Barley’s orchard, he is let go from several jobs for being clumsy, including working on a farm, as a postman, as a bus conductor and as a carpenter.

What kind of carpenter in their right mind interviews a chap, wrapped in bandages from head to toe, who has a scroll for a C.V, and thinks,

I’d like to spend time training him with my hammer and nails’?

5. Once Mr. Chatterbox stops talking and Mr. Noisy starts whispering, do they spend the whole time bitterly re-living the memory of their personality castration?

For example,

‘Why are you whispering if you’re Mr. Noisy?’
‘Ask the fucking busy bodies in Wobbletown.’

6. In Mr. Grumpy, Mr. Happy tells Mr. Tickle to use his special, joy-giving gift to irritate Mr. Grumpy so that he will no longer be true to himself but a sickly imitation of Mr. Happy instead.

To do this, he takes advantage of the fact that Mr. Tickle doesn’t have any ears and assumes Mr. Happy is telling him to tickle Mr. Grumpy for fun.

Is it any wonder Mr. Happy is smiling, when he knows he is a fraud whose real name is Mr. Insidious Bastard?

7. At the beginning of Mr. Nonsense, some of the other Mr. Men make an appearance, challenging the ridiculous things that he gets up to.

However, they fail to get a rise out of him and have to give up, because he is too crazy to care and enjoys going nuts in Nonsenseland with his close friend Mr. Silly.

Isn’t it time we all learnt something from this story?

8. Mr. Funny spends all day being an entertainer and doing hilarious things like making himself a nice hot cup of cake.

These are the sort of people who are most likely to be depressed.

Would it be out of order to suggest he watch out for this, especially as he doesn’t seem to have any immediate neighbours?



Filed under Mini mumbo

2 responses to “Questions that would bring an adult sensibility to the Mr. Men books and ruin the reader’s innocent enjoyment of them: Part 1

  1. Sophie you’re amazing!

    When do you get time to come up with all this.

    Have you sold Bruno to the circus or something?

    See you Friday.

    MM x

  2. sophiestout1

    He loves juggling knives!

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