God Bless Barack Obama, a misguided but well-meaning man.
High-quality healthcare for all does indeed sound appealing, along with those special garden centres that give away money tree seeds.
Here in the UK we’ve been letting every Tom, Dick and Harry get ill for free for over 60 years and what has been the result?
They’re doing it [...]
Entries Tagged as ‘Mumbo Obsessions’
April 16, 2009
Swimming Pools
The nightmare of walking down the high street naked is realized in the pursuit of swimming, only it takes place in a chlorinated sweatbox and you are wearing a sausage skin sheath of threadbare polyester.
Swimming pools should be sexy places: their sultry fluidity and proximity to the sauna room promise to make you feel like [...]
March 26, 2009
Vulgar Flower
Spitting carnation
Walking with flies undone
Spawning illegitimates
Giving the finger on Mother’s day
Mucking out in the garage
Greasy as a scratching
Grown up by ‘des idiots’
Acting like God’s gift
Wanted dead
For disturbing the peace
Of stylish nature
January 19, 2009
Father Christmas: the Interview
I have to admit I’m disappointed with Father Christmas. We meet at the bar of the Fasano hotel in the Ipanema district of Rio. He is dressed in a pared-down version of his trademark red suit, topped off with a pair of sunglasses. His beard is trim. His hair is tied back in a ponytail. [...]
January 16, 2009
O.E.D Omissions
The word to describe the filtering of real information when elderly relatives ask how your life is, so that they will not be traumatised.
The word to describe the feeling when you are a waitress looking at a table that is waiting for the coffee you have forgotten to bring them.
The word to describe the feeling [...]
January 12, 2009
Full Body Massage
If you scamper to Sri Lanka, to a quiet Southern beach
Mount a bike and ride the back roads and eventually you’ll reach
A tiny unlit building where resides a man of charm
Vending magical sensations with his lotions, oils and balms
Quiet and unassuming he’s a very literal guy
When he says Full Body Massage I can confirm he [...]
December 9, 2008
Welcome back, me
Q: Does the clap of a man in the desert make a sound if there is no-one there to hear it?
Allowing a person like me to embark on a Philosophy Degree at the age of 18 is like buying a 12-stepper Threshers vouchers for Christmas.
Yet someone in authority and a pair of innocent parents blessed [...]
October 27, 2008
Apple Tree
In a country garden I would like to be the apple tree
Reposed in solid euphoria
Breathing deeply in an orchard
*
Stretching longs limbs into the solemn soil
Caked in heavy earth but with my hair
Floating on the air above
*
Tousled in a wholesome beauty
Whimsical in bloom
Serious as fuck in yield
Flirting quietly in the eerie wind: a flower girl in [...]
October 22, 2008
Tiny
(click image to enlarge, irony notwithstanding)
Someone curious: What is this photograph of?
Tinyphile: Tiny things.
Someone curious: What tiny things?
Tinyphile: A little girl and a little boy silver pendant; the smallest Russian doll- she doesn’t get out enough; a miniature box of matches; a hand-made paper book; a worry doll; a baby jelly baby (deformed); two china [...]
October 20, 2008
Nicole and me
Nicole Kidman called me on my mobile last week.
‘Hi, it’s Nicole Kidman,’ she said.
‘Bloody hell, how did you get my number?’ I asked.
‘My personal assistant got it. I’ve seen you around and I like your style. I think we could be friends. I like that thing you do with your hair when it gets in [...]
