Gwynnie and me

‘Can I help you out with that trash?’
I heard a voice over my shoulder and, sure enough, when I looked up it was Gwyneth Paltrow on a break from up-dating her website, GOOP.
I knew very well she was being ironic. Certainly, she seemed quite tickled by the notion of it. So I left my chore [...]

Fantastic Mr. Fox

Whatever else it is, Fantastic Mr. Fox is bang on brief: a Wes Anderson interpretation of a Roald Dahl creation.
In other words, a quirky American sensibility brought to the grand-daddy of quintessentially English children’s authors. Quentin Tarantino doing Wordsworth might make for a similar coupling- interesting and accomplished but sort of very wrong.
The rustic-style stop-frame [...]

The Wrestler: A review

In the shadow of their press headlines movie stars can struggle to convince; it takes concentration to believe in Brad Pitt getting younger every day when you know how he celebrated his 43rd birthday.
The Wrestler is a film that takes this and uses it to full advantage. Mickey Rourke’s boxing background, his troubled personal life [...]

Angelina and me

I came back from the dry cleaner’s last week and on the approach to my house I saw a crowd of people outside, mostly midgets.
When I got to the front door I realised it was Angelina Jolie and her children.
I froze, with all the cellophane-wrapped hangers sliding off my arm. But I soon remembered [...]

Vicky Cristina Barcelona: A review

Filtered through city landscapes or the imaginative trips of time travel, Woody Allen’s pitch has been consistent:
Nerdy Jewish New Yorker talks beautiful women into bed with angst-ridden intellectual humour.
This is a film-maker for whom the word ’schtick’ was invented. Woody owns naive narration, conspicuous cultural consumption, urbane conversation, serial infidelity- hell, even a whole musical [...]

Jen and me

I checked my email one morning last month: accountants, a friend, the Viagra folks, Jennifer Aniston.
What?
I opened it up with a tingling sensation. This is what it said:
‘Hey Sophie,
Jen Aniston here. This is out of the blue, I know, but I heard you were good to hang around with and I could use some good [...]

Scary

Bond reminds me of Sunday afternoons when I was a little girl, asking my father to explain the plot over the noisy action scenes, in the days before video.
It clearly irritated him beyond measure, especially when I didn’t understand the explanation either.
He probably felt uncomfortable watching me copy him laughing at the sexual innuendos too.
Bond: [...]

Nicole and me

Nicole Kidman called me on my mobile last week.
‘Hi, it’s Nicole Kidman,’ she said.
‘Bloody hell, how did you get my number?’ I asked.
‘My personal assistant got it. I’ve seen you around and I like your style. I think we could be friends. I like that thing you do with your hair when it gets in [...]

Nicole and Keith at loggerheads

Nic: Keith, can I talk to you for a minute, please?
Keith: Yes, babe.
Nic: What the Castlemaine XXXX are these?
Keith: Babygrows with days of the week written on them, babe.
Nic: Are you mocking our precious love gift?
Keith: No, babe. I just thought they were pretty bonzer.
Nic: Only for one day of the week, you drongo! How’s [...]

Angelina’s womb

Twin 1: But I don’t want a stylist and a stupid name. I want to be a normal baby.
Twin 2: Jeez, you are one negative little embryo.
Next you’ll be saying rehab’s boring. It goes with the territory- roll with it.
Twin 1: You mean you’re ready for the media scrutiny?
Twin 2: That’s a big fat Yes! [...]