Mariah Scarey

I was plugged into the video of Mariah’s song ‘Obsessed’ at the gym this morning and I experienced fear.
The way she starts the song with the words ‘I was, like, why are you so obsessed with me?’ struck me as, like, a deliberately offensive way to, like, start a song.
Then the visual throwback of her [...]

Robbie Williams Confessional

Me: Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
It’s been 36 years since my last Confession.
Father: Better late dan never, moi choild.
What would you loike to confess?
Me: Lots of stuff, really, but the worst of it has to do with Robbie Williams.
Father: Dat your fella?
Me: Jesus, no. Sorry, Father…
It’s more that I crave his suffering.
Father: Good [...]

Skinny Bunny

As adults we can choose to act childishly.
Amongst ourselves, behaving unreasonably and being found adorable for doing so is a privilege to be judiciously enjoyed.
Children rob you blind of this perk, sprawling greedily all over the territory, like Chris Moyles on a picnic blanket.
If you spend a lot of time with them the injustice mounts [...]

Rainy Monday morning

9.10 a.m: Email from the managing agents of our rented flat encompassing an ongoing goonery of such staggering accomplishment it is acquiring its own peculiar beauty:
‘Yes, you’re right, we did receive your cheque, rendering the second demand we sent you a paper joke. And while you’re at it, forget about the other demand for 5 [...]